Beautiful Boy

by Nate Borofsky

The kid down the street has his kite stuck in the dogwood.
Bob is in the window, meowing to get out.
I have not slept in 32 hours,
And I still don't know what I'm so scared about.
Across the street, there's a dog stuck out on the balcony.
You can see from here she isn't getting very far.
And I am eating ice cream from the box.
Now there's chocolate on my guitar.

I am so brain damaged when it comes to this-
A blind spot in my mind.
I received your letter, and I will answer,
"A little scared, but I'm doing fine."
You were such a beautiful boy, and I let you down.

You were raised with faith that only hurt you-
That now you can't think of God.
Weak, sick, and wheezing, you were laid to bed and prayed to sleep.
Well I'm here and I'm trying - at least I give myself that.
But I'll talk so vague, I'll drive myself crazy.
The details are here - make no mistakes.
There's a lump under this rug everyone sees but me.

And when I kissed you it was like prickles and stars,
And I held your shoulder as we walked outside,
And your hair was so short, and I broke your heart.
I did not know what it means to toy
With such a beautiful boy - yes, I let you down.

Lock the door, hiding behind steam-
Stare at the wall - the water will fall off your back,
And when I cried you held me,
And when I shook you held me.
I could sit here for hours and expound
On this beautiful boy that I let down.

There I said it well it seemed to slip out,
As if I didn't feel quite bad enough.
Such a beautiful boy.

© 1998, all rights reserved