We Do, In Fact, Like Piña Coladas

Here in Atlanta, we’re already relaxing during our time off. Last weekend, we celebrated Ty’s and JJ’s birthdays, and Ty had one request of me: make the piña coladas.

Since we don’t have much breaking news here at Girlyman Central, I’m posting a step-by-step documentation of how to make the best piña coladas I have ever made (or tasted). It takes a little time (and equipment) but will impress your friends, disarm your enemies, and make the world love you forever.

Ingredients:

– Fresh pineapples (one for each person)
– Canned coconut cream (1 can will make about 4 drinks)
Don’t use store bought “cream of coconut” for this – it will make the drink too sweet. You can substitute coconut milk if you can’t find coconut cream (see note below).
– Sugar (1/2 cup for every 14 oz can of coconut cream)
– Aged rum (you could use white rum, but avoid dark rum)
– Ice (about 2 cups per drink)
– Milkshake straws (thicker than normal ones)
– Orange slices, shaved coconut, maraschino cherries, or other fun garnishes.

Equipment:

– Pineapple Corer (only needed if you’re serving the drinks out of frozen pineapple shells, which you are)
– Juice Extractor
– Blender
– saucepan, stove, etc.

Step 1: Pineapple Shells

Cut the top off of the pineapples. Use the corer to remove the inside flesh (you can probably get a little from the top, too). Cut out the center core from inside the pineapple. Place the shells in the freezer (ideally overnight). Save the flesh and center core for juicing.

Step 2: Homemade Cream of Coconut.

Put the coconut cream and sugar into a saucepan (or bigger pot if making a big batch) and heat until the sugar has melted. Allow to cool.

Note: If you can’t find coconut cream, you can substitute coconut milk, but you’ll want to use a little more and let it simmer for 30 minutes or so until it reduces.

Step 3: Fresh Pineapple Juice

Use a juice extractor to juice the flesh and cores of the pineapples, saving some of the flesh for later (a few chunks per drink).

Step 4: Perfect Piña Coladas

For each drink, add about 3 oz (6 tablespoons) each of rum, pineapple juice, and homemade cream of coconut to a sturdy blender, along with a few chunks of pineapple flesh and 2 cups of ice. Blend until all ice is crushed (30-60 seconds). Pour into a frozen pineapple shell and add garnishes to your taste.

There should be enough for about 2 drinks per pineapple shell, but be careful – the shells start to get wobbly as they thaw.

Note: for a non-alcoholic version, omit the rum and use a little less ice.